To go along with this weeks challenge about honesty and confession (see here), a big part of that is listening. As I touched on briefly yesterday, listening to what God is telling you is a key.
Being honest and confessing something to somebody leaves you vulnerable. As human beings we naturally hate being vulnerable.
So whether you are the one being confessed to or you are the one doing the confessing, make sure to listen to the other person. Opening up is one of the hardest things that anybody can do and it’s usually because they fear how the other person will react. So if someone is confessing to you, have sympathy for them because they are in a very vulnerable state. I hate to say that it doesn’t matter what that person did to you because none of us should be judging, but that is a very difficult thing to do. But the fact is that the sin has already been done and they are telling you in hopes of making things right, or in hopes that you can help them with their sin. They can’t take back what they did.
Now lets flip the tables and let’s say you are the one confessing. Once you confess something you are basically in a submission mode. The other person almost has free reign to do whatever they want. So it’s important for you to really listen to what they have to say but also to manage the situation well. Obviously you feel remorse (otherwise you wouldn’t be confessing), but you can’t let them take advantage of you. After the initial reaction, I recommend sitting down and talking about it again. The emotions will have calmed and the confessor can really listen to what the other person has to say.
I’m not a counselor by any means, I just know what I’ve seen and what works for me.
That leads me into this weeks “Helping Hands!” and it won’t cost you a thing! This week, if somebody is complaining or arguing with you about something, try listening. Rather than getting offensive, ask how you can help them. Maybe you could change the way you do something to make their life easier, or maybe they are swamped at work and you have a little extra time to do some of it for them.