In April of 2020, I found out I was being laid off from IBM. In the beginning of the pandemic, when 40+ million people didn’t have jobs. I was terrified. I just saw the headlines about how unemployment numbers had skyrocketed, I didn’t really think about what type of positions were impacted. When I saw numbers like 40+ million, I assumed that just meant that all types of companies and all types of positions were impacted, which then led me to believe that it was going to be a long hard search to find a new job.
IBM gave us a couple months lead time and also gave us an option to move to Columbia, MO and start working on a completely new project. We weren’t interested in uprooting our family, so we opted to try our luck in Austin. Within a month, I had 2 job offers, both contracting gigs with about the same salary doing somewhat similar work. One was with a financial company, which at the time, financing was a big grey area on how they would do throughout a pandemic (spoiler: they turned out just fine), and the other was with THD, which was also a huge unknown as far as their future went. I have always loved THD. The bright orange was welcoming, the people were ALWAYS helpful and I never left a store feeling upset or like it was a waste of time. Heck, I even bring the kids there just to give them somewhere to run around when temperatures reach 110 degrees.
I remember when THD made an offer, they said I’d be working on “storage solutions”. When I thought about that, I had no idea what storage solutions meant. I assumed it either meant I’d be working on physical storage (like bins, boxes, cabinets, etc) and how to better promote/sell those products or I’d be working on database stuff. I had little experience in either of those areas.
The pitch that I got was that this was a contract position, I’d be working on a team of Project Managers, I’d be the only Product Manager and that if things went well, they would want to convert me to a full time associate. Great! I took the job.
I started working in a world that is unfamiliar to me, Infrastructure Solutions and retail in general. My task, help the team get alignment to install Kubernetes in 2100+ retail locations and some distribution centers. Uhhhh. Ok. How do I do that? Start with the customers, what do the customers want? Who are the customers? We don’t know. Well ok, I’ll start there. Meanwhile, I was dealing with a difficult team member who didn’t see my value and frankly didn’t really want me on the team.
So there I was, not having any idea what I was supposed to be doing, having no understanding of the product, with difficult team dynamics rendering my skillset useless. I knew starting a position remotely was going to be difficult, I didn’t think it would be this hard.
For months I set up calls with potential customers (all internal teams), emailed random people, slacked others, I felt like a salesman. Asking questions I didn’t understand the answers to. I versed myself, learning everything I could about what Kubernetes was, what type of applications run on it, etc. I chatted with other Product Managers at Home Depot trying to understand what I should be doing, how I could be more beneficial to the team. I was miserable. But I felt God telling me to keep going. So I did.
I started to understand things, not super technical things, but I started to see the value of the team that constantly works behind the scenes, never gets the spotlight unless something goes wrong. It’s very similar to working the tech booth at church, no one even knows you’re there until the pastors mic goes out, you play the wrong video, or mess up the lyrics.
My idea of a Product Manager (from IBM) was that you owned the roadmap, you owned the deliverables, you were the one accountable. At Home Depot, on Infrastructure Solutions, it was a much different case. I remember having a call with my manager about my frustrations of having no control over the product, yet I’m the Product Manager, his response stuck with me, “you are not the product owner, your name is not on the chopping block if something goes wrong.” It hit me, I had been thinking about this role all wrong, and that was not a bad thing. So much pressure and stress were immediately removed. I was there to assist, not to own. What a relief.
Once I learned that, I stopped looking for how to take control over the product, and started looking on how I could help the team and our customers. Things just started rolling. The difficult team member was transitioned off of the product. Myself and the rest of the team worked together on roadmapping, building out customer personas, I started running team meetings and driving alignment. I was feeling great. Except then I wasn’t. My boss dropped a bomb on me and said “look, we aren’t going to be able to hire you as a product manager.”
Ok, that’s fine, call me whatever you want, I don’t care if you call me a project manager.
“But listen, we likely aren’t going to be able to hire anybody onto this team.” Oh. Well that changes things a little.
My manager encouraged me to apply for other internal positions and offered assistance when needed. I applied for an internal position as a product manager on one of the products that I had already been exposed to. I enjoyed the team and it would still give me the opportunity to work with my current team. Interviews went great. I had been patient and persevered for almost a year. At this same time, the team I had been doing product management for was re-org’d and actually fell under the umbrella of the product manager position I had been interviewing for. This was awesome! I would be able to pick up additional responsibilities but also continue working with the team I really enjoyed working with. I was sure this was where God wanted me.
But then a week passed and I didn’t hear anything from the recruiter. My feelings changed quickly. I knew something had changed and I wasn’t getting the job. I could feel it. Sure enough, I get the email from the recruiter stating that they went with another candidate. BOOM! I hit an extreme low point. I didn’t want to start looking for other jobs. I felt almost betrayed. I had soooo much support, from team members to senior managers to senior directors. How could this possibly have fallen through? There were so many emotions flowing through me but I managed to pull myself together, sent a message to the hiring manager thanking her for even considering me for the position.
Her response, “wait, what?” She explained to me that they had already been interviewing someone for that position and they had been farther along in the process. Because this project was so big, they were planning on opening another product manager position and she encouraged me to apply for that one when the time came.
Once again, I leaned on prayer. One word stuck out, “Patience”. So I was patient. I waited, and waited, and waited some more. And then things got weird. A bunch of political drama began happening, with me smack dab in the middle. It turned into this weird power battle between product and engineering. I worked for the engineering side but was interviewing for the product side. Product wanted to own the entire process but things weren’t going as planned. Engineering was frustrated with product. I didn’t help the situation at all as I had already been working with the engineering side and knew what they wanted but then the product side was asking for other things and not providing clear direction. It turned into this huge mess. Everyone was frustrated.
At this point, I started praying more. “God, this is a mess. Do I need to stick it out here and work through some of these issues, make amends with that employee that I wronged?” I felt an extreme peace about applying elsewhere but not letting go of “Patience”. I ended up getting 2 job offers at the same time with other companies. I went back to THD and told them I needed an offer by the end of the week if they wanted to keep me. The hiring manager was out of office that week, but she did let me know that they could not make an offer by the end of the week. Still trying to hold on to a little bit of hope, I escalated to her boss. He ultimately had to support his associate. They decided not to move forward.
This was a huge breath of fresh air for me. I knew if I had been given this opportunity, I would have to accept it. And life would have been very, very difficult for the foreseeable future. Instead, I accepted a position with another company and got to move on with my life, away from that drama and focus on something new.
I have 2 regrets about my time there. Number 1, was the way I handled a situation with the hiring manager. I had been rather expressive about how she handled a couple of requests from me. Word got out that she may be in over her head in the position, I was then asked directly multiple times of my opinion of her. I did talk to her about my lack of understanding her requests multiple times and how there were other ways we could do things, but she was not very receptive of the feedback. That’s when I began talking behind her back, which I highly regret. I don’t regret sharing feedback when directly asked by her managers, but I do regret my reaction to her not being receptive of feedback. Number 2, I never had a real conversation with her after all of this happened. She was gone for a week, then had some family issues, and frankly, I didn’t want to talk to her. I felt God telling me to speak to her, she had said multiple times that she would set some time up with me but it never happened. I should have taken initiative and I didn’t.
I fought harder then I’ve ever fought to get a job at Home Depot. It was an incredibly difficult, trying time in my life as a contractor. There are times in life when you second guess your decisions in life. Should I have remained patient longer? Should I have fought more, or applied for other positions, or escalated even more? No, I believe I’m doing exactly what God wants me to be doing. I don’t know what he has in store for me, but I’m glad he’s on my side.